Here is a list of the most common BDSM myths:
Myth: BDSM is a weird thing that most people don’t like.
“There are a lot of different opinions on how common this is “Many people may believe that only a small percentage of people have these desires.”
According to a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2014 sexual experts frequently come across a noteworthy level of interest in BDSM. This study highlights that it is quite common for more than 65 percent of women surveyed to have fantasies about being dominated. While 47 percent express fantasies about dominating someone else. Furthermore. It was found that 52 percent of women admitted to having fantasies about being tethered.
Myth: BDSM is always about sex.
Sex is not a requirement for practice. “BDSM does not have to be sexual in nature – some people simply enjoy power,”. It is possible to use BDSM without involving sex, but some people prefer to include it in their sex activities.
Myth: You can spot a BDSM fan from a distance.
It’s normal to get very into BDSM when you first start out. But that doesn’t mean everyone who’s about it is going to showcase it to the public. You may be surprised to know that much of the community can appear outwardly modest.
Myth: If you like BDSM, your past must be full of trauma.
There is often a misunderstanding surrounding individuals engaged in BDSM. With many assuming they have suffered from past traumas driving their involvement. However. Its’ essential to recognize that those practicing BDSM are not disturbed or mentally unstable. A scientific study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2013 discovered that supporters of BDSM actually displayed comparable or greater mental stability than their counterparts opposing it. Notably the authors emphasized viewing BDSM as recreational leisure instead of an indication of psychopathological processes.
Myth: The dominant person is always in charge.
There are many terms that people can use to describe themselves and their partners when it comes to dominance and submission. Some popular terms include top / bottom, dom (or domme, for women) / sub, and master (or lover) / slave.
Some people are “switches,” meaning they switch between being submissive and dominant depending on the situation.
The dominant person does not, contrary to popular belief, run the show. “The submissive person is always in control in a healthy scene [BDSM sex play period] because they have the safe word.
A safe word is a term that everyone agrees on, or the person can tell if they need to brake. A sub is more likely to need or want to use you because he is under someone else’s control. “When the safe word is said, the scene comes to a halt – no questions asked.
Myth: If your partner likes BDSM, this is the only type of sex you can have.
If you are new to the world of BDSM and your partner has more experience it is understandable that you may feel a strong inclination to learn as much as possible about it. Nonetheless. It is crucial to bear in mind that there is no rush. Rest assured, those who already embrace BDSM can still partake in kinky sexual endeavors while discovering the depths of BDSM together.
And, like your weekly meals, BDSM works best when it’s planned ahead of time. “BDSM should never be done on the spur of the moment.
Having an open and heartfelt conversation with your partner before undertaking any scene is highly recommended. This measure holds particular significance when there is limited prior acquaintance or uncertainties surrounding compatibility. Through this dialogue encompassing desires, boundaries, as well as how the scene will unfold, both individuals can establish an underlying commitment to mutual respect and understanding.
Myth: BDSM is dangerous.
The BDSM community takes great pride in its physical and emotional security. Individuals in the community must have a series of conversations about consent in which they negotiate what they will do. Some members of the community use abbreviations to emphasize how risk-free BDSM is.
It is up to each individual to set boundaries that allow everyone to enjoy what is going on without going overboard.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have.
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
