A Guide to Edging in BDSM (Sexual Denial & Orgasm Control)

Edging is getting your partner to the point of nearly orgasming then suddenly stopping.

You are essentially maintaining arousal and teasing your partner for extended periods of time.

Sexual Denial like this increases anticipation and leads to more powerful loads of ejaculation.

More words that are synonymous to edging is orgasm control, delayed gratification, sexual denial, etc.

Edging Techniques: Tips & Tricks

TechniqueDescription
Start-and-StopStroking and then stopping the moment you sense an orgasm is within “sight” or reach. Rinse and repeat.
SurfingMaintaining the level of sexual stimulation when you are already in “sight” or reach.
Tie-and-TeaseWhen your partner is restrained and you gradually build them up to the point where orgasm is either “in sight” or “within reach”. Then stop, rinse, and repeat.
Total DenialBringing someone “within reach” without touching their bits. This can also be part of chastity play.
Eroto-comatose LucidityAn occultish technique that’s not necessarily BDSM and plays with the in-between state of sleep and waking, by using sexual stimulation to comfort the person into sleep but using the possibility of orgasm to keep them in lingering consciousness.

By “in sight” we mean that you are experiencing the sensation that an orgasm is possible.

By “within reach” we mean that you are experiencing the sensation of “oH sHIt i ThINk i’M gOnNa—[wait for it]” and it seems inevitable.

You have to get a sense of what level of sensation your partner is in by watching and listening to them, because everyone is different:

  • Are they squirming?
  • Begging?
  • Are they saying “I think I’m gonna—”
  • Saying “Don’t stop!”
  • Are they saying “Don’t you dare f***ing stop!”

You get the point.

An example of eroto-comatose lucidity that isn’t SSC or BDSM, but I feel will get the message across is smoking indica and having your partner give you head until you fall asleep. The pleasure you feel is heightened becuase of the marijuana, but you can’t help but doze off. According to occult practice, your partner must swallow your load when you finish.

Why People Like Edging (Benefits of Edging)

No refractory period meaning that you can prolong the entire sexual experience and have more pleasure without having to “recharge” due to orgasming.

Because edging increases anticipation and keeps the person in an aroused state for longer periods of time, you can get the following benefits as a result:

  • More sexual stamina
  • Help erectile dysfunction
  • Increase semen ejaculation
  • Have stronger erections
  • Allow multiple orgasms

Edging also builds up longer, more intense orgasms for 65% of women according to a study.

How to Build Up a Man’s Sexual Endurance for Penetrative Edgeplay

If you’re a woman who wants to lowkey train your man to get better at edging without knowing, encourage him by telling him things like “I love having you inside me” and things that would make him just want to be in you longer, as opposed to just finishing.

As he builds a habit of being inside you for longer in general, encourage him to consistently improve his thrust intensity by always encouraging him verbally when he gets his stroke game right. “Yes, that. Keep doing that. I love it when your cock does that.”

You’re using positive reinforcement to first increase sex duration, then improvee his sex intensity.

What men won’t tell you is that your vaginal muscles tighten and contract when you’re experiencing lots of sexual pleasure. This causes him to finish before you.

So if you’re never actually finishing, you want to try to control those contractions so he can get better at both intensity and duration while you’re in that highly aroused state.

All women’s vaginas are different, so he might need to improve his sex game while you are “within reach” of orgasm. But most men can’t improve unless they are able to practice while you are in that “within reach” state.

He needs to get good under those circumstances (your “within reach” state) for him to get better at it.

He can use a condom with an appropriate amount of desensitization lube to help out with that. The condom prevents your vagina from getting desensitized because would defeat the purpose of all this.

He can also improve the entire experience by using the recommended toys in our resources below, and also just including more foreplay.

NOTE: Some men’s bodies “give out” when they cum, so they can’t get you to finish even if they persist with a semi-strong erection post-orgasm.

Safety for Edge Play & Sexual Denial

Some people think you can get “backed up” from too much tease and not enough take. That’s not the case, nothing bad is gonna happen.

If you’re the type to complain about blue balls, go finish yourself off. Only immature people guilt their partners into sexual favors from “blue balls”.

You can also use kegels or jelqing to improve your performance and muscle control.

Don’t get any penis too used to any “death grip” or you won’t be able to experience edgeplay.

Lube is your friend, you don’t want to get your bits raw from too much fruitless stimulation.

Here are some resources I recommend:

DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.

Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.

Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.

Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.

Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)

Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have.

The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.

Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.

Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.

DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.

Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.

dom-sub-relationship-101-DsR-media

Next Read:

MOST POPULAR