Aftercare is the process of soothing a person after sharing a scene.
Why Aftercare is Important
Scenes can take the mind and body for a surprise, causing an endorphin high that inevitably comes crashing down.
Aftercare is intended to ease a person down from their endorphin high, in an effort to prevent any drops from happening.
Top Drop or Sub Drop happens when a person gets high on a scene but doesn’t get the aftercare needed to prevent the endorphin crash.
Drops tend to look like a temporary depressed state, where the person is left with low mood and low energy.
Aftercare involves soothing your partner’s body and mind. The amounts and types of aftercare is different for everyone.
Physical Aftercare for the Body
Get your partner out of any gear, equipment, or rigs, and help them get in a physically comfortable state.
Help your partner feel clean by getting clean and bathing or showering.
Massaging your partner can help them recover from any physical impact their body has taken during the scene.
Hydrate and nourish your partner with food and drink.
Help your partner regulate their temperature.
If they’re hot and sweaty, find a way to cool them down. If they are cold, find a way to warm them up.
Get some fresh air since the scene of the crime is likely not-so-fresh.
Affection like back rubs, hugs, kisses, and cuddles help a lot.
However, not everyone needs physical affection and are happier by just having your physical presence around.
You can also have your own aftercare kit ready.
Emotional Aftercare for the Mind
Emotional support by talking to your partner is very helpful aftercare.
Talk about the scene and what they liked to help them mentally process what happened.
Don’t look to criticize or seek criticisms until well after the scene energy is gone.
Instead, praise your partner for doing a good job and thank them for sharing a scene with you.
Praising and reassuring your partner that what they did was good for you and they aren’t “bad” for doing it—because some people can feel bad for what they’ve done to their partner, even with consent.
Make sure they are aware of their surroundings and are back in their head (remember that we’re dealing with intense endorphin highs).
Maintain relationship boundaries since some people may have intimate assumptions post-scene due to the intense shared experience.
Check in with them over the next couple of days to make sure any drop is managed.
Any ghosting is looked down upon, since it gives others the impression you don’t care about this person, they were inadequate, or you were just using them.
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DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
