Here are some brief notes on sexual submission for beginners:
Sexual Submission is surrendering control to somebody else for the illusion of having control and losing control.
Understand that someone is always guiding an someone is always guided. In other words, who is doing the giving and the receiving. What is being given and recieved, and why is this pleasurable or consented to.
The submissive is the person who wants to be guided. The Dominant is the person who will guide the scene and encounter.
If you trust someone else to lead you, ask yourself the following questions:
- How does this benefit me?
- What are my limits and boundaries?
- What are the consequences to breaking my boundaries?
Someone who crosses your boundaries is not someone to submit to.
Is this for mental stimulation? For certain people, such as sapiosexuals, deep conversations or special dynamics can create a lot of arousal that you’re looking for. This is where DomSpeak might come in handy.
Is everyone involved privy to negotiation and other crucial kink info. You must not submit to somebody who doesn’t know the following:
- safe words
- soft limits/hard limits
- triggers
- preferences
- intentions
- desired scene
- aftercare
- etc
Know your aftercare needs. This way your Top can soothe you after the scene ends to help prevent sub drop. It’s also good that you know how to self-soothe for when your partner isn’t around.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have.
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
