7 Poly Problems & Answers

Polyamory is an umbrella term that means to engage in relationships that involve more than one person.

This means that all people involved are all aware and consenting to the relationships going with among their partners.

The various relationships can involve emotional, sexual, mental, spiritual, and romantic aspects in varying degrees.

Which can mean that your main partner can see you for all their needs, but they have another partner that they see for other needs (that you may or may not meet) on some basis.

Polyamory is not the norm, about less than 15% of the worldwide population openly practices polyamory. The majority has a preference for monogamy.

The following are questions asked about poly relationships:

Will becoming poly fix your relationship?

The majority of the time—No.

If you’re in a relationship with one person and you both can’t see eye to eye already, changing up your monogamous relationship isn’t a good idea.

Polyamorous relationships demand a lot of trust that your partner will still be there for you.

If you can’t have a stable relationship with your only partner, then it wouldn’t make sense for that relationship to last by adding someone else into the mix.

Now on the very low chance that it could work, then it would be because the relationship problems you are trying to fix are very personally specific and that you can both consent to.

This doesn’t only mean consent to each other by word, it also means feeling within and knowing you have your own inner consent.

If you change up your relationship, then you and your original partner would be considered the Primary Relationship. This relationship needs to be rock-solid and on the same page to work.

That said, opening up the relationship would be considered an Open Relationship and not necessarily Poly.

Is becoming poly an excuse for partners to cheat on each other?

Cheating involves breaking your partner’s trust by having a romantic, emotional, or physical entanglement with someone else.

This means that you can still cheat on your partner in a poly relationship. The difference is that in a poly relationship, you may be allowed to get physical, romantic, or emotional with another person—

It’s when you are going behind your partner’s back and involving a person, or specific actions you shouldn’t be doing with someone else, that is considered cheating.

So poly is NOT a means of cheating. Cheating is a means for cheating.

Again, you and your partner(s) must be on the same page, and have a dynamic where you both are clear on what is considered cheating.

How do you communicate with your partner(s) in a poly relationship?

Be honest and direct 100% of the time.

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and don’t “allude” to any topics you are afraid to touch upon—or you will come off as manipulative.

Take a deep breathe, summon up some courage, and be absolutely direct and fully honest when you talk to your partner.

This is how you establish trust. And remember, no ego is too fragile for the truth. What may hurt, doesn’t always harm.

It’s better to rip a band-aid off than it is to let your fears slowly bleed your relationship dry.

What is KTP? (Kitchen Table Poly)

Kitchen Table Poly is the idea that you can have relationships with your Primary Relationship’s metamours.

A metamour is your partner’s partner whom you have no direct romantic relationship with, other than knowing they are involved with your primary partner.

The phrase “kitchen table” refers to sitting down together for a meal with all involved parties connected to the Primary Relationship partners.

Ideally, it gives off very family-friendly vibes.

Is poly an excuse for cuckolding?

Cuckolding is when one partner enjoys watching, or otherwise enjoying, having their partner have sex with somebody else. All parties must consent.

No, poly is not an excuse to cuckolding.

Poly does not even have to be kinky. Poly relationships can be vanilla, but it’s often associated with kink—which is understandable.

But cuckolding is a kink in a type of BDSM dynamic.

So again, poly and cuckolding are two different things.

Do poly relationships partners feel jealousy?

Yes, all healthy human beings feel jealousy. Some more than others.

It’s not unusual for poly relationships to have some jealousy afoot.

The issue isn’t so much as having jealousy, but how partners address and navigate that jealousy.

The biggest tool you can use to address poly jealousy is to communicate with your words why you are feeling jealous.

People who enjoy their poly relationships will build a mindset that they are happy knowing that their partner gets to enjoy their time spent with another person.

I’m happy you’re happy.

Or at least learn to be neutral about their partner spending time with someone else, along with whatever that entails.

That said, good communication must not only come from the person feeling jealous, but the person they feel jealous over.

The person receiving the concern/complaint must be able to gracefully receive that bid and navigate it with their jealous partner.

More Poly Questions

Is everyone in a polycule having sex with each other? Probably not. It takes a lot communication and agreement among these interconnected relationships to get that happening.

Is poly the same as swinging? No, they are not the same thing. Swingers are not getting in relationships with each other. Instead they are having flings and leaving it at that.

If you love someone other than your primary partner, doesn’t that mean you don’t actually love them? No. People who are poly are those who viscerally feel that they are adding love when they bring others in, not taking love away. Most people aren’t naturally like this.

Here are some resources I recommend:

DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.

Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.

Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.

Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.

Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)

Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have.

The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.

Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.

Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.

DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.

Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.

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