Are you looking for ideas for BDSM punishments?
Well, you’ve come to the right place.
What Punishments are for
Punishments are generally used to discourage specific behavior.
You can use positive punishments that would benefit your sub while discouraging poor behavior.
And you can use negative punishments to take away privileges to discourage breaking rules or poor behavior.
Make sure your punishments are not breaking anyone’s hard limits.
Here is a quick list of what punishments are for:
- Breaking rules
- Maintenance
- Express dominance
- Pleasure
- Change behavior
- Show affection and care with dynamic
- and so on
Your punishments should also match the crime. If you are too heavy-handed, your sub can be mentally affected (depending on the person). But if you aren’t heavy-handed enough, your sub won’t learn. Ultimately, there shouldn’t be any resentment on either side afterward.
You also want to match the punishment with the person. For example, a masochist will enjoy painful punishments, so you can try punishments that leave them bored and that are tedious. The same goes for brats.
Communicate with your partner and discuss how you both want the punishments to feel and why.
Understand that not all kinky relationships need to have punishments. So communicate your limits, desires, and expectations.
That way, you’ll know how open your sub is towards punishment and “funishment” and whether these will be sexual.
Punishment vs “Funishment”
A punishment discourages a behavior and cannot be the reward in of itself. However, it can result in a payoff that does benefit the sub. For example, having them attend a class they don’t care for can be a punishment if they hate class, but there is a real worldly benefit for doing so.
A “funishment” is a consequence that the bottom takes pleasure in receiving. This doesn’t discourage bad behavior because it’s actually a reward. It’s something the bottom likes to receive from their Top.
How to deliver “funishment” if your sub is obedient
Here are ways you can punish your well-behaved sub with funishment:
- Funish your sub because you said so. This is a pretty cheap shot, but as long as they know they didn’t do anything wrong and it’s for fun, it’ll be fine.
- Assign her a task she struggles with. This takes a bit of emotional intelligence because you want it to come off more cheeky and less serious. You don’t want to accidentally make them feel incompetent and lose confidence in themselves (unless that’s their kink).
- Tell your sub you’re counting up every time they do something habitual, and that you’ll punish them for that later. Right now my sub has stuck her tongue out at me 17 times this week—which I don’t care that she does , but it’s funishment for my brat. She’ll pay for it Thursday.
- Make up something random. “Who the fuck told you to look this cute today?!… Hold still. Bend over.”
Ideas for BDSM punishments
Here is a list of ideas for BDSM punishments:
- Have your sub write out the rule they broke 100x with excellent penmanship or it doesn’t count.
- Wash your sub’s mouth with soap, then have them wash their own mouth with soap until you say stop.
- Give your sub a writing assignment if disobedience is a repeating issue. The sub needs to explain what they did wrong and what they can do to fix their behavior.
- Have your sub scrub clean a room/your car/etc. using their toothbrush. Buy your sub a new, clean toothbrush of the same quality or higher afterwards.
- Have your sub deep clean and organize a section of your home or property.
- Have your sub wear cold chains you’ve been keeping in the freezer for several minutes. Make sure your sub is naked before doing this.
- Drop peas or rice on the floor and have your sub get on all fours and pick up each one individually.
- Drop a mix of white rice, brown rice, black rice, etc. on the floor and have your sub organize each type into their own pile.
- Ignore your sub while they are gagged and restrained, while you go about your business. Ignore any noise they make. Make sure you are always aware of their condition so you have actual control of the situation.
- Put thumbtacks, or something uncomfy, in your subs bra and have her wear it all day. Slap or paddle her breasts when she complains about it.
- If you know your sub’s health conditions very, very, very well, have them strictly follow a certain diet (that you know would be beneficial to them) for X days.
- Keep your sub in a dark closet for a given amount of time. If they make any noise, extend the punishment.
- Have your sub watch a children’s learning show and after it’s over, they must tell you what they learned, or else they have to re-watch the episode.
- Take away hot shower privileges, so the sub can only bathe in lukewarm water at best.
- Take away cute clothes and makeup privileges, so the sub can only go out looking plain (if they’re not used to that).
- Tie your sub up facing away from you and have them say everything they’ve done wrong. For each thing, punish them with an whip, cane, etc. After they finish listing everything they’ve done wrong, leave them alone for a few minutes to think about what they did.
- Make your sub carry something in front of them with both hands in public while wearing a very short skirt. This way they can’t adjust their clothing and experience consensual public embarrassment.
- If your sub hasn’t been open and honest about their emotions, have them send you a sexy picture of themselves in front of the toilet every time they use the restroom as punishment.
- Take away walking privileges, so the sub can only move around on all fours for a given period of time.
- Take away sweater/blanket privileges.
- Take away fun privileges.
- Feed your sub dog or cat food, while they are on all fours.
- Have your sub do something they’ve said they’ve always wanted to do, but still hasn’t done yet.
- Have your sub rewrite a book of your choice word for word, on paper, for a given amount of time.
- Have your sub do dildo pushups, where they they deep throat a suction cup dildo that’s on the ground every time they come down per pushup.
- Take away bed privileges, so the sub must sleep on the floor next to your side of the bed.
- Have your sub eat a food they hate and film them eating it.
- Your sub must have their mouth against your genitals non-stop for a given amount of time.
- Take away table privileges, so the sub must eat on the floor.
- Make your sub put on headphones and listen to “Baby Shark” for a given amount of time.
- Make your sub gag by putting your fingers deep in their mouth to activated their gag reflex.
- Have your sub stand facing the wall on their tiptoes while holding a penny to the wall. If they drop the penny or drop their feet to their heels, you punish with a paddle and have them resume position until time’s up.
- Take your sub on a shopping spree, then remind them of the rule they broke before you tell them to return everything you just bought.
Share your ideas for BDSM punishments in the comments below.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have.
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Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
