In this post, we briefly go over what is a collaring ceremony in BDSM.
What is a collaring ceremony in BDSM?
Collaring is a ceremony within a BDSM relationship. It marks a moment of great commitment between a couple.
Usually, before the collar, the Dominant has one-on-one sessions with his submissive. The sub doesn’t belong to him yet and the sessions serve as a test for the couple. This initial period serves for both to understand if the relationship can evolve or not. Both can discover incompatibilities or whether they have chemistry.
After this testing period, both can decide on something more serious. It’s a two-way decision – like everything else in BDSM, the decision about collaring must be a consensual one. It is also important to highlight the importance of this testing period. I’ve seen couples who performed the collaring ceremony, including in public, and a week later they were already separated.
The Ceremony Symbolizes the Power of The Dominant Over the Submissive
As signified by the collar, the submissive belongs to its owner. This usually includes the obligation to be faithful to him, being told what clothes to wear, when to go out, and the obligation to wear a social collar on a day-to-day basis if given, in addition to using his owner’s name.
There is no fixed format for the ceremony, but it must have elements that signal this relationship’s agreement. It is also common that during the ceremony there is the signing of the contract, which establishes the rule of this relationship and was negotiated between the two parties. The ceremony can be public, with the presence of other people, or private, with the presence of just the couple.
A suggested ritual would be the submissive kneeling in front of the owner, who can be standing or sitting. She holds out her hands, palms up, and the Dom places the collar over her hands. They are there throughout the ceremony and the submissive must keep her eyes fixed on the collar. The Dom can read the contract or its main parts, or give the contract to the sub to read it aloud, or give a speech summarizing what the sub’s life will be like once she is collared.
After This Part, Both Speak a Pre-Arranged Text
The submissive can, for example, say: “From this moment on I give you my life, my pleasure and my sexuality. I promise to obey all your orders and proudly wear your collar.” And the Dom can say: “From this moment onward I accept you as my possession. I promise to protect you and take care of you [etc.]”.
At the end of the lines, the submissive lowers her head and the Dominant puts the collar around her neck.
In another version, the submissive is already on a leash and only offers the guide to the Dom, who accepts it as a symbol to guide him in this new life.
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