What is Primal Play in BDSM?

Primal Play is expressing your honest sexuality via your most basic emotional instincts, or primal intincts.

Put it this way, the ultimate reason why you don’t do something you want to do is shame.

Shame and fear of being judged is why you shy away from your most honest desires—it’s not a liberated headspace in any way.

Primal play allows for a headspace to be honest about your desires, without any mental barrier involved—you are acting on your instincts while paying no attention to your inner resistance.

Primal play is acting shamelessly on what you want (within the confines of consent).

How To Do Primal Play

Primal can be and look like a lot of things.

People struggle with free expression without inner resistance. So understand that—it’s okay to feel uncomfortable with your honest desires!

You are working on getting comfortable with your most honest desires.

Your most honest desires can also be very dynamic. One day you might want to be ruthless and have rough CNC. Another day you may want to put on a dog mask and bark with a smile on your face.

Primal play is about getting in touch with your “inner consent” and allowing yourself to live authentically by it, by letting go of any attachments to shame and performing it all in a safe space.

Obviously, there always needs to be consent and recognition of legalities.

Tips & Tricks for Primal Play

Here are some notes from Inner Shadow Work you might find helpful:

  • The more you live in Mind, the less you live in Life
  • You are not your Mind and your mind thinks it’s You
  • You can *literally tell your mind to go away, especially for this sort of play
  • That inner consent, or quiet voice, the subtle interest you have—is your intuition, your honest desire, that place where your personal narrative and Reality meet
  • The mind = the ego = that thing that is judging yourself and others, especially yourself

Primal Play is essentially getting in touch with your inner child… or more like your inner horny teenager…. well, no its actually your darker aspect—IT’S JUST YOU.

This is essentially an exercise of self-love, but you need to be made more aware of yourself to do it.

To increase self-love you need to increase self-awareness. Because self-love = self-awareness.

If there’s an aspect that you feel shame over (a part you feel you need to hide) than ask yourself WHY do you feel ashamed of it. Because the more you are aware of why you “hate” yourself, the more understanding and compassion you will give yourself—

Resulting in Self-Love! (Cleansing your psyche of unhealthy beliefs about your own existence)

All of this makes it easier to engage in primal play over time.

But it all starts with (1) admitting that you like what you like, (2) understanding why you like what you like, and (3) allowing yourself to act on what you like without the mind interfering.

Check out my Shadow Work Guide here.

Thanks for listening to my spiel, back to the kink talk—

Scene Ideas for Primal Play

Here are some ideas for specific to primal play:

Hunter / Prey scenes are more on-the-nose in the terms of dynamics. This can include a stalking game of hide and seek, taming or breaking the beast, etc.

Monster / Victim can involve a more brutal form of torture play. You can use scratching and biting to mark the victim, or exchange marks between partners, howling and roars and screams.

These may seem like very rough ideas, but like mentioned earlier, this is what instinctively comes to you. More ideas can be:

  • Fights for dominance
  • CNC or Rape Play
  • Animal roleplay
  • anything you feel is right

Make sure to communicate with your partner and everyone consents, because the more authentic this play is—the more intense it will be.

Here are some resources I recommend:

DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.

Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.

Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.

Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.

Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)

Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have.

The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.

Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.

Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.

DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.

Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.

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