Facesitting is when someone is lying back and their partner is straddling their face with their genitals over or in the other’s mouth. This is also referred to as “kinging” and “queening”.
Smothering is facesitting but with sexual suffocation involved using genitalia and buttocks. This can be considered a form of erotic asphyxiation.
This is a pretty good change of pace from your more typical sex positions. You can also incorporate bondage with this form of play.
Note: Be careful if you have back issues since your lower back muscles will be tense during this. I have two herniated discs, so I would know.
There’s also a very clear power dynamic going on, which can even include a dynamic where there is a service top or power bottom.
3 Tips for Facesitting & Smothering
You want to have your non-verbal safewords ready. The bottom needs to be able to communicate when they need to breathe or if something has gone wrong. This means that the Top needs to be keeping an eye out for any form of non-verbal communication.
Examples of non-verbal safewords include tapping your partner repeatedly, or waving your feet from side-to-side.
The straddler should rely on support. Your legs will get tired while you are straddled over your partner’s face. So use any support you have around you, such as grabbing onto the headboard or any solid furnishing in front of you, or place your hands on your partner’s body.
Choose a direction to face. When you are facing towards your partner’s head, you have more control and your partner can better pleasure you orally. When you are smothering your partner it’s better if you are facing towards their feet, this also puts you in a position to receive a good rimming.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
