In this post, we’ll quickly go over four sources of sexual anxiety and orgasm anxiety, along with some tips to help reduce it.
First, you need to figure out if this is sexual anxiety or regular anxiety. Sexual anxiety can be related about body image and that exposure prevents them from enjoying physical intimacy.
Many people also suffer from performance anxiety. Meaning that they are afraid they won’t be able to please their partner. This is common with folks who deal with erectile dysfunction or dry vaginas.
It’s important to point out that genital arousal, like getting hard or wet, is not always related to emotional or sexual comfort but instead the context of the incoming sexual situation (whether desired or not).
Another source of anxiety can be premature ejaculation. This is something all men deal with and my personal tip is this—see what happens when you try to cum as fast as possible; this many times results in frustration because you won’t be able to finish.
Body image is a common issue. This can be due to feeling overweight or underweight, not liking the appearance of your vagina, being unsatisfied with the size of your penis. The shape of your this, the smell of your that, whatever.
Understand that people profit off of making you feel like you need to be a certain way. If someone finds you attractive, it’s because their body wants your body. It’s an irrational thing that can’t be explained, only felt. Let’s put it this way, if I wanted to sell you padded bras or expensive breast surgery—my goal would be to make you feel like there is such thing as boobs that are “too small”.
4 Quick Tips to Reduce Sexual Anxiety
- Breathing in and out
- Masturbate in different ways
- Use more sex toys and/or lube with partners
- Agree to have no expectation of an orgasm, this way you both can enjoy the experience
Remember that sex isn’t just the climax where you finish—sex is the entire experience (from foreplay to finish), whether you come or not.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
