Here are seven tips for someone who is going to a sex convention and/or dungeon for their first time:
Don’t expect to do get to everything on the schedule. My first convention was DOMCON and although I wanted to attend all the workshops, much of them are happening simultaneously and overlapping. This bugged me and is why I put everything I learn here on this blog and DS101 as a one-stop shop.
Go with a friend. I’m a pretty shy dude, so having an extroverted friend walk around talking to everyone and introducing me was a massive benefit to me. And when I looked around, I noticed many of the other newcomers in the workshops came with a friend too.
In terms of a sex dungeon, I can imagine it’s even more intimidating to visit by yourself—you’d sorta feel like you’ve walked onto the set of Eyes Wide Shut. This includes the fairly high likelihood that you’re being watched by someone who wants to play.
It helps to know that there’s no such thing as smooth. Say hi to people and be as autistic about it as your awkwardness demands. People here are generally friendly and reciprocate respect. Many of them want to be friends with you. Let them know you’re new and checking the place out.
Bring a bag and sweater. Many conventions will provide free bags for you, but it doesn’t hurt to take a sackpack, along with a sweater. Especially since the conventions I’ve gone too are f***ing cold. You can also bring along any toys, whips, or floggers that you wanna flex, if that’s your speed.
Keep your identification on you. You don’t want to be kicked out of an event because of this. That said, it helps introducing yourself to key players in the venue or event.
People surprisingly remember you despite not seeing you for weeks or months at a time. But if you are recognized by other kinksters, you’ll be less likely to be checked for credentials.
I notice that kinksters are very observant and mentally sexual—even if you’re not the best looking person, many of these folks will take notice of your most attractive qualities and remember them.
Get permission to take pictures. Consider people in the background. Not everyone is open about their kinky lifestyle and wouldn’t consent to having their picture taken, much less posted on social media.
Don’t assume you are invited to all entanglements. Make sure you have a clear invitation to join in on any hanky-panky you see and are interested in joining. This can include strong eye contact, getting very close to each other during conversation, and very direct compliments and invitations.
In the United States, although you’ll find people dressing down and playing with each other—most sex is not happening at conventions, clubs, or dungeons. Most of the sex going on is happening behind closed doors. That said, you are being carded before entering these venues and the laws and rules vary state-to-state and venue-to-venue.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
