Collars can symbolize a person’s devoted relationship or status to another kink player.
Generally, collars show the power dynamic relationship between Dominants and subs, or Masters and slaves, etc.
The submissive or slave, or other bottom, is the person who will wear the collar.
What do collars mean in BDSM?
In the community, wearing an earned collar can be considered a status symbol. This is because the collar is physical proof of their devotion, admirable surrender, and relationship with another person who has likely earned their honorific (Sir, Master, etc).
Typically, a collared submissive type will not engage with anyone without their Dominant’s permission, or they may engage pleasantries when spoken to.
How much leeway a collared person gets is most accurately determined by how “tight leash” or “loose leash” the Dominant is with their sub in a given scenario.
However, as someone who is engaging with a collared person in conversation, here are some quick tips.
Be respectful. It’s good to ask who owns the collar the slave is wearing. This helps because it (1) clues them in that you have manners, that (2) they have a more favorable first impression of you, (3) you are willing to show their devoted partner respect and acknowledge their bond.
It really helps to know who belongs to who, and that you are known to be a respectful person within the community and in regards to their relations.
Never touch somebody’s collar. This is disrespectful in many ways. You can ask to touch it, which is something they may be used to if it’s particularly stylish, but don’t expect a yes response.
A collar is as sacred as a wedding ring. Depending on the wearer, it could be more sacred, since there’s no legality and it’s a further demonstration of their own free will through surrender.
Ask what the collar means to them. You can get an idea of the collared person’s personality through this question. Some will keep it at who they are devoted to, others will tell you what stage of their relationship is, and if you’re lucky you’ll meet someone with substance who will share a story.
Of course this assumes they have a more “loose leash” at the moment, their Master has given them permission, etc.
Types of Collars in BDSM
Although traditional BDSM is inclined to use actual collars, the collar is more of a symbol than anything and can also be represented by a necklace, ring, bracelet, tattoo, branding, etc.
Collars can be made of any material. This is something usually discussed or determined within the relationship between the D-type and s-type.
A collar with a padlock is given more symbolic weight. Here are more specific collars:
Casual Collars hold no status or locks, they are fashion pieces.
Identity Collars signify identity, such as being a pupply player, etc.
Play Collars are worn for a scene and play.
Consideration Collar has no padlock and offers a lot of leeway so that the wearer and the owner can get to know, understand, and decide if they are a good match for each other.
Training Collars are for those who are being trained to being a slave. This means they are learning complete surrender to their trusted D-type.
Slave Collars are earned by the s-type, where they will recieve their slave collar during a collaring ceremony. By this point, this collar or “collar” is being worn all the time.
If you’re working towards an earned collar because you just want the collar, and you aren’t thinking about the relationship you want to have, you might wanna reconsider what you’re doing.
More Info on Collars
Collars are symbols that can carry a lot of meaning and emotions for the wearers. Collars can put the wearers in a very submissive mental headspace
Getting a collar removed can leave the person who was wearing it feeling a bit unpossessed, bummed out, and however, because these collars typically make someone feel they are being taken care of.
For someone who is just reading about this stuff, imagine how you would feel if you didn’t have your phone, or just realized you didn’t have your phone. There’s a pang of loss in those moments—that’s sort of how collared folks can feel.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
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Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
