These BDSM tips and advice for beginners below will help introduce you to BDSM and discover which form of BDSM appeals to you most. Ideal to gain inspiration and start the journey of discovery within BDSM
- Discuss your current fantasies or wishes with your partner.
- Order a sexy BDSM clothing set and experience what it feels like to see your partner like this.
- Provide a place where you cannot be disturbed.
- Start with the part of BDSM that appeals to you the most. So don’t go wild, definitely limit yourself to one part in the beginning.
- Discover through experiment what is exciting and where your or your partner’s pain threshold lies. For example, you can use your voice and stimulate more and more of your partner’s senses. Take your time here one step further.
- Using BDSM toys can be a great way to discover yourself in BDSM.
Tips for experienced BDSM lovers
If you already have experience with BDSM, you probably already know what you like and where your limits lie. However, there will still be plenty of parts of BDSM unknown to you. With our advanced BDSM tips you can gain new inspiration or expand your BDSM playing.
- Discover new forms of BDSM. This way you can get an idea through our BDSM dictionary about possibilities that you might not have thought possible.
- Take a look in a BDSM studio or BDSM dungeon. The Netherlands has many BDSM spaces where you can take a look.
- Visit a BDSM master or mistress.
- Use extreme BDSM sex toys.
Safety tips at BDSM
Safety is very important in BDSM. In the BDSM world people also talk about the 4 R’s. These stand for safety, trust, voluntariness, and understanding. Make sure you clearly discuss boundaries and that your partner can be quickly released if problems arise.
- Clearly indicate your limit.
- Discuss a safe word or stop sign with your partner or BDSM master or mistress.
- Do not consume alcohol or other mind-altering items during or before BDSM play.
- During the game, pay close attention to the physical and psychological state of your sub (submissive). As a dom (dominant) you are responsible for safety.
- Especially with bondage, make sure you can free your partner quickly. This also applies to the use of cuffs and other BDSM attributes that make it impossible to move or otherwise make your partner dependent on you.
- Save the head and heart area at BDSM games.
- Be careful when constricting the blood vessels. This is especially true when using shackles and other bondage games.
- If you use BDSM toys or bondage articles, disinfect them well after each use.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
