In this post, we go over the best types of BDSM play for newbies.
Sensory Deprivation
Taking away your sight makes every sound, smell, touch, and taste seem louder. When you can’t use one of your senses as well, it makes the others stand out more. If you put a sleep mask or silk scarf over your partner’s eyes or tie something around them, everything else they do become a thrilling mystery.
Putting on a blindfold and listening to music through headphones makes the lack of senses even worse. Without sight and sound, the other senses become even stronger, making the feelings stronger. Starting your kink journey with sensory deprivation is a great idea.
Sensation Play
This goes well with taking away your senses. It can also be a good way to prepare to play with more force. It’s important to use opposites when playing with different feelings. Try hot and cold, rough and smooth, firm and light, or fast and slow to get your whole body involved.
Some of the best things for touch play I have at home or buy at the dollar store. Soft dusting mitts, feathers, stiff bristle brushes, ice cubes, and forks can be amazingly sneaky tools.
Impact Play
Some people get high from erogenous pain. It makes your endorphins go up, which can make you feel happy. Playing for impact doesn’t have to be cruel. Even small blows can do the job. When playing rough body games, knowing where and how to hit is important. Be careful not to hurt someone in a way that isn’t sexy.
It takes about 10 minutes for a rush of endorphins to start. After this 10-minute warm-up, you can start hitting harder. Also, don’t keep hitting the same spot. When you spank someone behind, switch between butt cheeks. The area will feel warm when it is ready for more intensity. At this point, the submissive’s fair skin will also turn pink.
The butt and back of the thighs are the most common places to hit. Impact play can also be done on the upper back, the nipples, and the genitals. Keep in mind that different places can handle different intensity levels, and make changes accordingly. For example, you wouldn’t spank a person’s genitalia as hard as their butt. Always avoid places with bones, like the shins, ribs, neck, and lower back, where organs are visible. If you hit these body parts, you could seriously hurt yourself.
Aside from my hands, some of my favorite tools to use at home are everyday items. Wooden spoons, hair brushes, back scratchers, and even hardcover books can be as fun as expensive BDSM specialty items. You can try different things to see which ones feel more “stingy” or deeper and “thuddy.” Many submissives grow to like one type of feeling more than another.
Bondage
It might take years to get good at decorative bondage, but making simple restraints with things you already have at home is easy. Neck ties and the belt tie on my thick terry cloth robe are two of my favorite things. Never use zip ties! They keep getting tighter as the submissive moves, cutting off blood flow and damaging nerves in the worst cases. The fuzzy handcuffs often given out at bachelorette parties may also cause the same problems and should be avoided. There are many different reasons why submissives like to bond. Some people like being open to being hurt, while others are happy to let go of control. Some people can’t touch each other during bonding, a form of sensory deprivation. Bondage can be fun on its own, but it’s usually more fun when combined with something else. Try starting a scene with bondage, putting on a blindfold, and then spanking the person. Sounds like a fun evening, doesn’t it?
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
