In this post, we briefly go over a few ideas regarding Dom/sub Emotional Connection.
When we are emotionally reliant on someone, we often use them as a ‘filler’ to mask and distract us from our own unresolved emotional issues.
It is more common to seek happiness from the outside rather than the inside. To feel adequate and worthy, this can lead to substance abuse, gambling, eating disorders, and a variety of other behaviors.
One party becoming overly-needy, clingy, attention-seeking, and easily driven to jealousy is an unhealthy development of attachment.
A submissive who is overly attached to their Dominant, for example, may appear glued to their Dominant’s hip while the Dominant constantly encourages them to seek interaction with others, personal space, or privacy.
It can also be seen in submissive who struggle to function alone due to a Dominant’s work or other circumstances that separate them, and resort to binge eating as a coping mechanism.
It’s possible that the submissive will eventually exhibit worship-like behaviors with the Dominant.
While I can’t imagine a Dominant who doesn’t enjoy a little worship, it can spiral out of control, leaving the submissive with no regard for their own life and only focusing on the Dominant.
The Dominant in the relationship becomes their god, allowing them to eat, sleep, and piss whenever they want.
(It may be obvious that I am opposed to total control of a person to that extent because I believe it removes the human element and leads to abusive situations.)
Emotional dependence is a delicate balancing act in a healthy relationship. “S/he completes me,” or “s/he is my yin to my yang,” are common phrases used by utterly smitten couples. Every relationship, I believe, has some degree of interdependence.
In relationships displaying a healthy co dependence it becomes apparent that both partners hold a firm belief in their own value as individuals, which then fosters a deep and natural affection between them.
A positive environment is characterized by an abundance of love and self worth with both partners overflowing with these qualities. They take responsibility for their emotions and do not depend on others to fulfill them. In fact.
They may feel more “in love” rather than “in need of love” in this context. However, it is important to be cautious about maintaining balance in the relationship.
Excessive amounts of any good thing can lead to emotional dependency between partners.
In such cases, these partners become so closely connected that discerning their individuality becomes challenging as clear boundaries are lacking; this phenomenon is often termed enmeshment.
Prioritizing self-love and recognizing our own value is imperative before we embark on a journey of sharing life with someone else.
If you believe you need a Dominant figure in your life to find happiness consider how you can cultivate your own sense of self love so that you can bring it into your partnership with a Dominant instead of relying solely on them for validation as submissive individuals. Take control of your emotional well being and strive for a happily ever after.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
