Erotic Humiliation is the act of being humiliated as part of psychological play in order to experience arousal.
It’s using those things that make you emotionally uncomfortable and exploring them in a safe and erotic way.
Degradation takes the humiliation much further, where the bottom is then made to lean into their humilation through some action.
For many, this sort of play can be used to reclaim power over traumatic experiences in the past with someone they trust very much.
3 Examples of Humiliation & Degradation Kink
A very common example would be slapping your partner across the face, calling her pathetic, then calling her a dirty slut while she’s sucking you off. This can be a way of exploring promiscuous feelings she may be holding in.
A more specific example would be humiliation food play, or feederism (”feedism”), where a person is shamed for eating, but then made to eat more for the Tops amusement.
A strong example of this would be rape play, or CNC, where the bottom is (consensually) “raped” by their trusted partner. This way they actually have power over the situation and can experience personal psychological release.
Why do people like humiliation?
For some people, this is a learned behavior. This isn’t really kink-related, moreso it’s a person who has been brought up with an unhealthy belief of their own existence, which causes them to experience life as if they have a “kick me” sign on their back. Bringing awareness to this is hard unless someone is willing to point it out to them.
Escapism and getting away from themselves or Reality. Humiliation is an emotional belief and not an objective reality. People who admit to themselves that they like humilation and humiliating experiences are looking for mental relief and catharsis.
Building self-esteem. This is more aligned with exposure therapy and being able to laugh or find amusement in one’s own predicament, as opposed to feeling “less than”. Although this is away from the arousal reason people are used to, consider that monks flog themselves to show humility while also disposing of the emotional belief of humiliation. This approach is more psychological/spiritual instead of sexual/sensual.
Transmuting humiliation into something more beneficial.
How to Perform Verbal & Physical Humiliation
With a person’s permission, you can verbally attack them with some of the following:
- Insults
- Slurs
- Insecurities
In my experience, lots of women like being called a bitch or broad. Those same women also like it when you refer to them as “woman”. For example, “Woman! What are you saying!?” There is some sort of feminity validation and sexual validation going on as far as I can tell.
Also in my experience, people who are more proud or lean towards narcissism are very affected by being pitied. This affects them even more when you hold genuine confidence in yourself despite them thinking they are better than you.
The following are some ways to physically humiliate your partner:
- Forced to wear gear
- Make them wear clothes that are too small
- Make them wear shabby, unattractice clothes
- Have them crawl on all fours
- Have them lick or eat things
- etc
Safety in Humilation & Degradation Kink
Make sure there is thorough discussion and negotiation. What will make it a good time and what will make it an off-limits bad time.
When you are the person performing humiliation or degradation onto the other, you want to listen with curiosity and openness to what your partner wants.
These conversations can be very taboo and surrounded with shame. If you are a trusted partner, you don’t want to approach this with a sliver of disgust. These talks are very vulnerable.
As the Top, you may experience some Top Drop for saying or doing what you did during play. This is why aftercare for both Top and bottom is important.
Here are some questions to ask during negotiation:
- Have you done this before? What made it so good?
- In public or private?
- What should I look for to know where you’re at?
- Safe words, non-verbal signals, etc.
- Where do you want to get to this time?
- Triggers? Traumas?
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
