Financial Domination, or FinDom, is a form of power exchange where one partner has all financial power over the other.
Ethical Financial Domination
An example of financial domination is where the Dominant is financially providing for their submissive, who lives at home and does no work to provide for the home.
The Dominant gets the satisfaction of both providing for their sub and for being in control of their financial situation. The submissive gets satisfaction by surrendering control to their Dominant and being financially vulnerable.
This can be ethical when the Dominant is not expressing their financial domination as a form of financial abuse. This means that the submissive is consenting to their situation and spends their time serving their partner instead.
Only the Dominant has a say in the financial spending going on in the relationship. The submissive/slave must be permitted by their Dominant/Master to spend any money on themselves.
The Dominant may allow the submissive an allowance to their submissive as part of the dynamic. However, it’s typical that the submissive must get approval from their Dominant to spend this money.
If a submissive already have money, and then enters a FinDom dynamic, they will typically put their current money into savings, investments, or somewhere for long-term security. After placing their funds somewhere secure, they turn over their financial freedom to their Dominant, who will provide for their living and so on.
These types of relationships must have an extremely deep level of trust; you are more likely to find the dynamic in relationships similar to already long-term romantic relationships and marriages.
If you want to work on your psychological relationship with money, I recommend you check out the post Shadow Work for Money.
Consensual “Unethical” Financial Domination
This form of “unethical” financial domination is where there are limits and budgets that are already agreed upon based on negotiations. This usually consists of seemingly reckless spending in order to excite the person whose money is being spent.
For some, it can be arousing having someone spend money to provide for you, or spending money to provide for someone else. Similar to the emotional care of a typical Daddy Dom, however in the form of financial care.
You can essentially make financial domination look any way you want in however power exchange dynamic you’d like; FinDom/Finsub, submissive spends money on Dominant in worship, Dominant provides for submissive, etc.
Non-Consensual Unethical Financial Domination
Non-negotiated, non-consensual, unethical financial domination can lead to financial ruin and comes from exploitative “partners”.
A common version of unethical financial domination would be where a “bratty” submissive demands for their Provider Dominant’s money, with no investment towards the relationship.
This can be a manifestation of self-bimbofication that lacks morality and is not associated with BDSM or kink. Think sugar baby/sugar daddy relationships, OF relationships, or “simping”.
Another type of unethical financial domination would be in the form of an abusive relationship. Where the abuser, most likely someone with a narcissistic or sociopathic nature, will trick their victim into a relationship and create a socially isolated and financially disempowered situation.
In terms of the psychology of people in controlling relationships, an example would be a timid woman getting in a relationship with a controlling man that doesn’t want her to get a job or step out of the house much. In these relationships, subconsciously the woman is afraid of the world but doesn’t have to take responsibility for her life because the man she loves is controlling and preventing that.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
