In this post, we go over how to have a threesome. We talk about a few “stages” that will allow this to happen as smoothly, and non-traumatizing as possible.
You can also check out our post on MMF Threesomes.
Before the Threesome
Before the threesome are the conversations that take place before any form of play involving the threesome happens. You can also think of this as negotiations.
Having these conversations are important because there can be boundaries that need to be made aware between all people involved.
If you’re a dude joining a man-woman couple for a threesome, the man might not want you to touch him, or maybe her mouth is off-limits, and so on.
It’s everyone’s responsibility to make it very clear what their limits are. If you aren’t comfortable sharing that information with these people, and vice versa, then you all shouldn’t be doing this.
This includes going over safewords.
Do not ever feel shy about saying: “No, I am not comfortable with that.”
Here are some questions you should ask yourself:
How much touch am I comfortable with?
How intimate am I okay with my partner getting with the third person?
What should we do towards the end and after?
An example of how to end the threesome can involve everyone laying down in bed together, so the third person doesn’t feel used. This is not sexual, just physically relaxing and even emotionally intimate.
During the Threesome
This is where the threesome happens.
Since two of the people involved are likely to be much more comfortable with each other already, it’s better to bring the sexual intensity down to the level of the least sexually charged person.
By doing this, you aren’t leaving anyone behind physically/sexually and leaving anyone feeling jealous or awkward.
Another tip is to take turns focusing on pleasuring one person at a time. This takes off a lot of the pressure related to performance anxiety.
After the Threesome
What happens after the threesome is best already discussed back before the threesome happened.
Who needs what kind of reassurance, whether that reassurance is emotional, physical, mental, etc.
After a bit of time has passed, it’s good to ask what everyone thought of the experience and what they liked, and would you all possibly like to do it again.
What parts were the hottest to you?
Was there anything you wanted more of?
How did you feel when X was happening?
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
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Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
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Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
