Are you a bottom who has trouble stopping themselves from taking control from their Top?
Check out What is Topping From The Bottom?
Here are some ideas to consider on how to stop topping from the bottom.
How to Stop Topping from the Bottom
You need to keep in mind that for your partner to become a better Dom, you’ll need to let them lead.
That’s not going to happen if you resist and take over whenever he asserts his dominance onto you.
Here are a few tips you should consider:
- Better Negotiation & Planning
Set some ground rules and proper expectations so you both can be on the same page.
Make sure you tell your Dominant what you want out of the scene and do your best to commit to what they want you to do.
Check out What is Consensual Non-Consent?
- Give Constructive Feedback
Maybe what you’re getting isn’t as good as you want it to be.
Still, give your Dom some credit.
After the scene, give them feedback on how to improve and what will make the experience more pleasurable for you.
- Acknowledge What You’re Doing
If you ask someone to Dom you but shut them down every time, you can be damaging their mental health.
This is the case when you are topping from the bottom but deny doing it.
Not only does this discourage your Dom, but it can also lead to “crazy-making” via gaslighting.
What you’re doing is showing him that you don’t trust him and don’t believe he is adequate enough to play with you.
You want to increase your Dom’s confidence and competence—not crush it.
- Give your Dom control
If you are outright defiant towards your Dom, maybe you’re just not a good fit for them.
This is usually due to a lack of communication and the assumption that they should already know how to dominate you. But this isn’t possible without communication.
Until you discuss how you want your Dom to handle you prior to a scene, you’re not “topping from the bottom.” Instead, you’re straight up dictating how that person prefers to Dominate.
Again, this is either a communication issue or a compatibility issue.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
