Sensate Focus Exercises (Step-by-Step)

Sensate Focus is a practice that decreases anxiety towards intimacy and allows for greater physical connection with a partner.

How Does Sensate Focus Work?

Sensate focus works best when practiced two or three times per week, with each session lasting about 20 to 30 minutes.

You can practice sensate focus individually, or with a partner if your difficulties are happening within a relationship.

Make sure the environment is relaxing with no distractions.

Stages of Sensate Focus

Part 1  You can be naked or with flowy clothes. You can touch the body but not the genitals. For 30 minutes you will touch your partner everywhere except their genitals, breasts, and butt. After 30 minutes, you both swap places and the other person gets touched.

Part 2 – You will do the same thing with the same amount of time between both partners, except now you will also be able to touch breasts, genitals, and butt. The intention is to not give those parts any more attention than the rest of the body.

Part 3 – Now you will bring lotion into the mix. This will make it a more sensual experience. Both partners get 30 minutes each.

Part 4 – Now you can add more sexual touch to the mix. But you’re not going to orgasm. You both can now touch each other more freely within a span of 30 minutes.

Part 5 – You can now have sex. By this point you understand that sex is the entire experience and it’s sensation-driven, not orgasm-driven.

Here are some resources I recommend:

DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.

Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.

Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.

Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.

Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)

Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)

Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)

The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.

Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.

Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.

DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.

Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.

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