A disabiity can be an impairment or impediment that keeps you from performing an action.
Note for the Reader
Keep in mind that if you have a disability, that you remember that your issues are NOT a result of your body, but instead they are a result of the world that you are in.
There needs to be more accessibility and accommadations made.
For those who are reading this and don’t have a disability, it’s important to understand that you won’t realize how ableist this society is until you run into it yourself.
And to give you a reality check, everyone runs into health or physical issues in their lifetime. Especially when you’re blessed enough to stay with us with no hiccups before your due time.
My experience with kink and disability
On a personal note, I myself am diagnosed with MDD, GAD, and I have two herniated disks in my lower back from a training incident back when I was 21.
I’ve had a couple of play sessions with people with disabilities that affected play. Here are a couple of examples:
My little who had BPD. This was a long time back. She was my brat little who, at the time, had intense emotional and mental breakdowns. It would break my heart when I was painted black.
A sex abuse survivor with vaginismus. She was unable to have penetrative sex and she was lacking in (seemingly consensual) experience. She got to practice a lot of oral with me and I gave lots of positive feedback that she said helped with her self-esteem. I also made sure she got her jollies via vibrator.
Car crash victim with back surgery. She couldn’t bend properly or get in certain positions. I was able to relate a lot to her pain since I had dealt with back pain issues for two years straight. We made it work. She was very into degradation; spit into her mouth, verbal assault, etc. It’s just the physical aspect that needed extra care.
How to talk about sex when disabilities are involved?
Make sure you talk about what works with their body and what doesn’t work well with their body. You want to make sure you know that you’re giving them a good time, but to do that there needs to be communication.
Remember that sex isn’t just penetration. Sex is the entire experience leading up; flirting, foreplay, negotiations, the sensual experience, up to (but nor necessarily including) climax, and post-experience.
Ask what would make their experience more enjoyable or comfortable. Putting a cushion under her hips during missionary isn’t always just for depth, sometimes she needs that because there’s metal in her back. Or maybe they emotionally need some babying before they can give their best personal disposition.
What are Devoteeism & Devotees? (Disability Fetish)
Devoteeim and Devotees are those who fetishize disabilities or certain types of disabilities.
Examples of this would be fetishes towards little people and amputees.
Understand that attraction isn’t a choice, and attraction or fetishization towards disabilities isn’t considered politically correct.
That being said, some people with disabilities are into it while others are not.
The only time a fetish is an actual problem is when someone is treated less than a person and as if the fetish quality is all there is to them—
Because people fetishize shapes, age, ability, and so on.
The fetish isn’t a problem.
The problem is when an entire person is reduced down to the fetish trait.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
