In this post, we go over ideas about how to find a submissive partner that is right for you.
You must be in a D/s relationship with the right sub for you. These five tips, along with continuing to build trust, can assist you in finding a good sub.
So, what characteristics should you look for in a potential submissive candidate?
- They can clearly articulate their boundaries
This can be difficult for a new submissive at first. However, after a while, you should have a good idea of how far you can go mentally or physically. Putting pressure on them can be extremely damaging. This can apply to various situations, such as a sub who doesn’t understand the difference between’soft’ and ‘hard’ boundaries, or who doesn’t speak safe words during a scene where it becomes too much. You must create a safe space for them to provide safewords as a Dominant. However, as a sub, it is their responsibility to inform you.
- Be willing to develop outside the context of a scene
Your submissive reflects your personality as a Dominant. Their development is directly related to how dominant you are. You must encourage their ambitions, whether it is to start their own business, return to school, or pursue any other goals they may have. There are numerous educational classes available on the BDSM lifestyle. Make sure you both go together. This will improve the two of you in the long run and increase the intimacy of your relationship.
- They must trust you enough to send you
This may sound similar to the first point, but it is so important that it must stand alone. Your relationship will be sabotaged if the sub cannot trust you. Scenes will be more difficult to complete, tasks may be undone, and other complications may arise. Slowing down and gradually gaining the other person’s trust can help overcome a lack of trust. If you don’t rush into things, you’ll have fewer subconscious barriers to overcome. Be prepared to engage in difficult conversations.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
