In this post, we very briefly go over what is a BDSM contract.
What is a BDSM Contract?
The outline of a BDSM contract
First and foremost, a BDSM contract must be a win-win situation for both parties. All signatories must be able to safeguard their collective and individual interests.
Pay attention to the form of the contract
The contract specifies the contexts in which it is to be used, i.e. each time BDSM is practiced. It contains the attitude that the submissive person will adopt at each session: what type of language should he use (continuous, vulgar, etc.), what behavior should he follow once in front of the master (do not lift the eyes towards the other partner, have the hair tied up, be completely submissive, etc.).
The subject’s outfit will also be addressed in the contract: Who makes the decision? What should I wear and when should I wear it? What should the color of the garment be? Some fans go so far as to spell out the type of hair removal to use and the perfume to wear in the contract.
Talk about desires and goals
Even if the Master will be the one to lead each session, the slave has the right to demand his fair share of the pleasure. Both parties usually make a list of their objectives and then combine them.
The extent to which the slave must take pleasure must be included in the contract.
Is it acceptable to experience orgasm?
Is it permissible for him or her to touch themselves without informing the master?
For his part, the master must set goals for himself in order to fulfill his role, such as the teaching he must provide to his submissive.
How to Make a BDSM Contract
At least two people are bound together by the contract. Here are some details that should be included in the contract.
1- General Information
Where will the contract be performed: in private, in public, partially in public, and within what parameters…
The contract can be used in a variety of settings, including private, with family, at work, in public, and with friends.
There are rules that apply to all situations and times (the fundamentals therefore)
2 – Practices
There are two main options for contract practices: the list and the clause.
We present a list of possible practices, each with its own set of constraints.
Physical submission
- Bondages, ties, …
- Spanking, riding crop, swift, …
- Pliers, weights, candle wax, …
- Physical transformation
- Etc. …
Sexual Submission
- Oral availability
- Vaginal availability
- Anal availability
- Dildo work, dilation, with whom (Mistress / Master, women, men, number etc.)
Brain Submission
- Humiliation & Insult
- Exhibition
- Objectification
- Rules of conduct
- Address
- Pose and attitudes
- Imposed outfits.
Control zones
In this section, we determine what is possible in a different way. There are three zones.
- Totally controlled zone: this entails specifying the practices that the submissive agrees to fully accept by giving up all decision-making capacity to the Dominant (e.g., the possibility of completely determining sexual partners without the submissive’s opinion is never helpful).
- Forbidden Zone: These are the practices that the Mistress / Master agrees not to carry out.
- Fuzzy Zone: These are the practices that the submissive agrees to undergo but can limit or give his opinion that the Mistress / Master will consider.
3- The objectives & its annex
- Objectives: All too often, contracts only state what is permissible or the limits. It is critical to state the overall goals pursued. For example, the submission’s directions will lead to the submissive developing sexual endurance, feminization, anal dilation, and so on.
- The appendix contains the specific elements that will be worked on. This document, which will be reviewed every three months to assess progress and delays, can be modified without affecting the contract. It is a critical document as the relationship evolves because the constraints change all the time and are not always possible to include in the original contract.
This allows the submissive to understand what is expected of him and to observe his tardiness or docility.
4- Sanctions
In this section, we specify how a breach of one of the contract’s rules will be punished. We provide two types of punishment:
– Immediate punishment: As soon as the violation is identified, a punishment can be imposed.
– Cumulative punishment: at the end of each period (week, month, etc.), the total amount of all punishments is calculated to punish the offender a second time, either by grouping all punishments together or by calculating an overall penalty.
Whatever punishment system is implemented, we strongly advise including a clause stating that once the punishment has been carried out, the order that was not followed must be followed. As a result, the submissive is denied the option of avoiding what is requested by accepting a punishment. It is either the requested act immediately or, if refused, the punishment, followed by the requested act.
5- Breach of the Contract
In this section, we specify the circumstances under which each party may breach the contract. Typically, the submissive has no way of unilaterally breaking the contract, whereas the Dominant has a choice. However, some conditions can be specified, such as the search for a new Mistress/new Master for the submissive, the minimum time between the announcement of the breakup and the breakup, and so on.
Balance sheet:
Of course, this is only one example of what a BDSM contract can include; everyone is free to modify it to suit their needs and the agreement of the two parties.
If the contract is thus “only a completely private commitment” with no legal force, it can be extremely powerful. It is necessary for both parties to participate in the contract’s development in order to have this strength.
The contract is the physical manifestation of the bond that binds the Dominant to the submissive.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
