Power exchange is a term that is frequently used in the BDSM community to describe dominance and submission relationships.
Submissive partners willingly and voluntarily relinquish control to their Dominant partners. Either in a specific situation, for a specific period of time, or completely. Submissive partners in power exchange relationships must surrender to and obey their dominant partners.
There is often a great deal of communication and negotiation regarding limits, boundaries, and safe words before a power exchange scenario or relationship occur. Written contracts outlining the terms and conditions of a power exchange relationship are also fairly common.
In the BDSM community, there are many different levels of power exchange relationships. Some people only use power exchange for sexual roleplay, whereas others use it in their daily lives.
Total power exchange (TPE) lifestyles, for example, typically require a submissive to relinquish complete control to their dominant. This means control over the submissive’s diet, career, social activities and so on.
In exchange for complete submission, the Dominant partner is in charge of their partner’s health, safety, and general well-being.
Total Power Exchange Examples
Here are some activities that a couple might engage in as part of their TPE relationship.
The Dominant partner:
- Chooses what the submissive will wear on a day-to-day basis.
- Chooses what the submissive will eat.
- Maps out the submissive’s daily routine each morning.
- Decides when the submissive may or may not masturbate.
- Makes important life decisions on behalf of the submissive.
These are some examples, but power exchange can really take whatever form you decide. It’s about how much power you’re willing to give up, or how much you’re willing to take on.
Types of BDSM Power Exchange
The term “exchange” in Total Power Exchange refers to a submissive who transfers all authority to the Dominant as their responsibility. It can be applied to specific scenes or to the entire way people interact with one another in all facets of life.
Within a polyamory perspective, the exchange of power can be applied to individual aspects, such as making love or finances, until all responsibility is transferred to a person or a group. It is frequently found to be related to but not limited to BDSM.
The power dynamic involves both the body and the mind, resulting in a combination between partners to find a balance between what they find erotic and satisfying.
In its most common form, the exchange of power occurs spontaneously between the two lovers. The threat of compromise in the BDSM power exchange ranges from a brief, fleeting scene to a witnessed form of formal collaring with an agreement to govern the submissive’s entire life.
Spontaneous Power Exchange
Few couples have not experienced some form of power shift, such as throwing their partner into bed after a simulated kidnapping, playing with blindfolds, or calling each other “Master” or “Owner” in a scene.
A person may willingly and consciously give up autonomy, or power dynamics may emerge as a result of interpersonal chemistry with no conscious decision made. This power can manifest itself in an infinite number of relationship dynamics.
The power shift in BDSM is much more conscious and consensual in comparison to power dynamics in daily life.
Switching Power To A BDsM Scene
In its most basic form, BDSM Total Power Exchange can occur on a momentary basis, which can be as simple as calling the other “Sir” or “Miss” during a scene or D/s activity designed specifically for this exchange to occur.
On a psychological level, there are limits to a dominant’s power over his or her sub in many BDSM activities, such as safe words, time limits, and explicitly negotiated understandings of what is acceptable. These limits are always negotiated with the phrase “safe, sane, and consensual” in mind.
Following this, participants can discuss their physical and psychological limitations, establish safe words, and plan the scenes in which they will participate.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
