Are you wondering what is Consensual Non-Consent (CNC kink)?
Well, you’ve come to the right place!
What is Consensual Non Consent?
CNS is essentially a roleplay of a non-consensual encounter.
The “consensual” part of consensual non-consent means that the people involved already gave consent before the scene.
The typical example of CNC is a “rape fantasy.” This means that a person who has already given consensual non-consent for a rape fantasy is willing to have that experience when they’re available for it.
However, all limits are already known by a trusted Top and are respected. And all safewords are still in effect.
Some people take an interest in CNC as a trauma response. Because despite “not having any control,” they are actually calling the shots. They get to decide what, when, and how it happens.
Consensual Non Consent Rules & Tips
When you start engaging in CNC scenes, it’s a good idea to start slow.
For example, do some roleplay where you tell your Dominant “no” and “stop” a while you both struggle as foreplay.
Always make sure to tell your partner what your limits and boundaries are for CNC, so they know exactly what NOT to cross. Also, don’t forget to go over aftercare before the scene.
Both Dominant and submissive are allowed to have their safewords honored.
Take time to go over a scene:
How should your Dominant react when you are very defiant, or when you cry, etc.? Where would initiating this CNC be acceptable? How physically rough are things going to get between you two?
Setting up some expectations makes things easier.
Ask your submissive what they want from a CNC scene:
Do you want a struggle?
How does verbal humiliation sound?
Do you want to be prepared or be caught surprised?
Make sure you aren’t being judgmental. You need to be capable of offering a safe space to fully experience consensual non-consent.
CNC Fantasies can include:
- Rapeplay
- Torture
- Degradation
- Forced Orgasms
- and so on
Tips for Initiating CNC
- Give your sub a specific thing to wear when she’s available for you to initiate a previously discussed scene. Like a necklace or hair tie.
That piece means the Dominant can be relentless in initiating and acting out the scene. The Dominant will only acknowledge safe words and non-verbal signs. Unless, of course, the Dominant believes there is reason to stop from their end.
- You can also discuss “initiating dialogue”.
For example, if you grab your sub and say, “You’re going to X, and you’re going to fucking like it,” they’ll recognize the phrase as initiating CNC.
If your sub isn’t open to it, she’ll say a safeword. If she’s open to it, she’ll say anything but a safeword.
- Have a CNC nickname for your sub
Call your sub by a nickname that they already know you only refer to when you are about to initiate CNC.
Examples of Consensual Non Consent (CNC Kink & Sex)
- Scene Example 1
She’s an innocent girl, and you’re “getting fresh” while meeting her “for the first time.” She nudges you away, telling you, “please don’t.” You continue to gently but firmly handle her while telling her, “I just want [whatever kinky shit] to you.” Making promises of how good it will be until you “take her innocence.”
- Scene Example 2
You are upset at her because of her embarrassing behavior when you were both in public. You dismiss her apologies and verbally humiliate her while you spank her. Then when she begs you to stop, you put her to her knees and tell her that her mouth is only good for one thing.
- Scene Example 3
Hold a fake gun in front of her face and command her to suck on it. Then, after she obeys, command her to do other things under the threat of being shot.
What is NOT Considered Consent
Some people believe that CNC is unacceptable because it’s somehow “trivializing a traumatic event.” These people are self-righteous, arrogant, and downright exhausting.
This line of thinking undermines a sex trauma survivor’s right to their own trauma.
Besides, it’s nobody’s business what consenting adults do sexually in their own privacy.
Many times, not all the time, some victims use kink as catharsis for their trauma.
Remember: It’s called Consensual Non-Consent.
There’s no shame in having fantasies about consensual non-consent. Because when it comes down to it, nothing kink is unacceptable if everyone involved is consenting.
Imagine all the kinky shit you’ve already done to others…
Now imagine if none of it was consensual.
…
The only reason any of those things were okay to do was that there was consent.
Check out How to Deal with Subdrop
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
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Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
