In this post, we’ll talk about what is fear play along with some examples.
What is Fear play?
Fear play is a type of S&M that involves your fears. While there are many different types of fear games, they all have one thing in common: they all put one’s emotional resiliency to the test, whether you’re on top or bottom.
As the bottom, you must accept the possibility that your fears may be used against you. As the top, you’ll have to draw on uncomfortably dark portions of yourself and recognize that once you’ve connected with your shadow in this way, there’s no turning back.
Fear play scenes can involve exploiting well-known anxieties that the bottom has stated, confronting regions of discomfort, or testing for lesser-known fears, or uncovering traumatic experiences (whether intentional or not).
Fear is typically regarded as a negative emotion in the BDSM. After all, in a healthy and loving BDSM relationship, whether it’s M/s, D/s, or whatever label you give it, one should satisfy their partner out of love and a desire to make them as happy as possible. Acting out of fear is a dangerous condition for a submissive to be in, which may give new mixed feelings.
However, that doesn’t mean that fear is a bad thing. Sometimes, it may be healthy, or even thrilling and arousing.
The worst thing that can happen is that if the dominant doesn’t handle the fear play well, it can lead to trauma. It does imply that fear play is not something you do with someone you don’t know very well. The submissive must trust that if the need for a safe word arises, the dominant will instantly stop the scene and ensure that the submit is cared for first and foremost.
Fear Play Examples
The fear play is usually based on fears of the bottom. Anything like sharp tools, water, or fire are some examples of things that are used in fear play.
Here are some examples on which fear play can be based:
Playing with sharp objects – take a knife or a needle and make an illusion of a bottom being cut. It’ll give both you and your partner new emotions
Nightmares – try to play with some nightmares of your partner. Such a spicy experience will bring new sensations to your sexual life.
Bondage – completely tying your partner can also be some kind of a fear play if mixed with other fears. Try combining it with knife plays and nightmares of a bottom one to spice things up.
Conclusion
In addition to the fact that fear plays may freshen and take your relationship to another level, you need to be extremely careful with them. Fear plays require maximum trust from both sides, as well as control over the situation. It is better to discuss in advance with your partner what is allowed and what is not, in order to avoid emergencies.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
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Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
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Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
