People who attend munches come from all walks of life, but they tend to be highly intelligent, imaginative, and individualistic as a group. Almost everyone who attends has a personal interest in BDSM. Most munches have a designated host or hosts who are informally in charge of the event – but firmly if necessary. Some munches are specifically designed for specific types of people, such as people of a certain age range or people who are interested in a specific aspect of BDSM play, and are usually labelled as such. While munches are open to people of all sexual orientations, the majority of them have a mixed-gender, heterosexual/bisexual flavor to them.
Cross-dressers and transgendered people occasionally attend. (If you’re looking for one-gender events, the munch hosts can probably point you in the right direction.) Munches are almost always “for adults only,” so children under the age of 18 should not attend unless the munch’s ground rules specifically state that they are welcome.
What to Expect If You Go to a Munch
What are the benefits of attending a munch? This is frequently the first step in learning more about the BDSM lifestyle in person rather than online. You can meet new people, make new contacts, ask questions, and simply enjoy your time out without having to hide your secret desires. This is frequently the place where cross dressers can ‘come out,’ so to speak, and wear makeup and outfits that reflect their lifestyle without fear of receiving negative feedback. They can progress from ‘pretty lingerie’ (if they are M to F) to full dress and makeup (which is usually applied better than anything I’ve ever done, much to my envy!). Because my Dom is married, a munch is one of the few places where we can appear in public as a couple practicing Power Exchange (other than parties).
I can address Him as Master, serve Him, and submit to Him without fear of my children barging into the room at inconvenient times.
Often, going to a munch is the first step toward going to a party. Before accepting your registration, many party organizers will request a reference. After you’ve attended a munch, you can request a reference from the hosts or other attendees. They may not know you well, but they know you are interested in the lifestyle and have made an effort to join the community because you went to the munch.
What exactly is a munch? It’s a casual social gathering for people interested in BDSM or other similar lifestyles, usually held in a restaurant, pub, or other public location. It is hosted by one or two community members who have decided that they want a monthly get-together in their neighborhood. They usually post the location, date, and time on a local list once they find a place that allows ‘adult conversation’ and monthly bookings.
Finding a location is more difficult than it appears. Once the restaurant’s owners or staff learn what the group is about, many munches move from place to place. The pub’s owners and staff have all discovered WIITWD at my Master’s munch (what it is that we do). The ‘members of the bar’ (the guys who hang out against the pub’s rails) also seem to know, though one of them once asked me to define BDSM while I was paying. A cartoon of a duck in bondage was hung at the entrance to our room by one of the kitchen staff before one munch.
In addition, several desserts featured candy teddy bears in pornographic poses. You might think that this infringes on our privacy, but the patrons all seem content to leave us alone, with the exception of one patron who is always trying to pick up one particular pretty slave. She laughs it off, but they continue to try!
Most munches do not allow scenting or obvious fetish wear because they are in a vanilla setting. Of course, these two rules can be interpreted in a variety of ways. I get ready for the munch in what I hope are appropriate sexy outfits for the sub host who will be representing her Master. Collars are acceptable at our munch, but not at others. The women who come to our munch are frequently sexier than the bar’s vanilla patrons (especially the ‘members’ I mentioned earlier!!). However, they could be mistaken for ‘night out at the club’ attire rather than fetish party attire.
Here are some resources I recommend:
DOM SUB 101 teaches you essential basic and advanced BDSM concepts, such as DomSpeak, power exchange, finding a partner, poly jealousy, primal play, contracts, worksheets and so on.
Submissive Journal: 365 Daily Journal Prompts will help you develop your emotional awareness, build your kinky relationships, as well as explore your submissive self-image and sensual desires.
Danger & Play BDSM Package includes handcuffs, mouth gag, kink paddle, collar and leash, nipple clamps, blindfold, shibari rope, and much more.
Classic Black Flogger is an incredibly versatile 5-star, impact play toy for both beginners and seasoned players.
Discreet Remote Control Vibrator 3 is the funnest toy to have your partner wear for getting them hot and bothered anytime and anywhere. (Read review)
Rose 2-in-1 Vibrator is easily one of the most pleasurable experiences she’s looking to have. (Read reviews)
Low Temp Wax Play Candles are incredible for very intimate, sensual experience that you and your partner will never forget. (Read guide)
The links above are NOT affiliate links. The product links are the exact same products I happily own from trusted vendor Sinful Goods.
Bathmate Hydromax is the safest and most effective male enhancement product I’ve ever used to increase my length and girth. Read more here.
Relationship Subliminal for self-hypnotism will help you change your unconscious behavior, gain better relationships, and attract like-minded people and partners.
DOM SUB 101 (Lite) is an affordable alternative to the ever-growing DOM SUB 101. This is for curious kinksters who are on a budget.
Inner Shadow Work is my main website that goes over psychology, spirituality, emotional maturity, consciousness, etc. If you’re interested, click here.
